Date: July 18
Category: Marriage and Relationships
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights (goodwill, kindness, and what is due her as his wife), and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have [exclusive] authority and control over her own body, but the husband [has his rights]; likewise also the husband does not have [exclusive] authority and control over his body, but the wife [has her rights]. Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [to sin] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire."
We are spiritual beings, but God has given each and every one of us a body. Our bodies are primarily sexual creatures. From the very moment we are born, we are determined by our sex, either male or female. As we continue to grow, especially as we enter teen years, the differences between the two genders become more evident. The hormonal boost that we all experience is what drives us to the opposite sex. That's why husbands and wives marry.
Sex is the best gift that God gives to married couples, and it should only be practiced within a marital relationship. It's not to be practiced before marriage or during marriage with somebody other than your spouse. Sex is for reproduction and for pleasure. Statistically speaking, men are more prone to desire sexual activity than women. Most women can go without sex for a longer period of time. Because men are moved by testosterone, they often feel unsettled when those hormones don't get released. That's why they're sometimes easily irritated, easily angered, even hurtful or destructive. They are like lions. But as soon as they experience sex with their wives, those testosterones are released, and they feel a sense of calmness, peace, happiness, and joy. Those lions become like little lambs.
But when sex isn't regularly practiced in a marriage relationship, it causes problems in the marriage. I read in an Austrian newspaper called, Kurier, that a study was conducted to show how sexual activity at home affects one's productivity at work. About 1.47 hours are lost on a daily basis because of sexual worries and concerns. About 9.7 billion Euros of revenue are lost per year. Some even lose their jobs because of stress, and vast majorities of people divorce because of sexual disagreements.
So regular sex within a marriage is so important. Let's read this Scripture again. Verse 3 says, "The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights (goodwill, kindness, and what is due her as his wife), and likewise the wife to her husband." In other words, if a wife wants to have sex with her husband then the husband has to be willing to engage in it with her. If a husband wants to have sex with his wife, then the wife has to engage in it with him. But it's important to understand that men and women experience sex differently. Men are motivated and aroused by what they see. Women are aroused by touch. For a woman to experience sexual pleasure, she has to be shown affection. Her husband has to understand her and show her love the way she understands it. He has to care for her, bring her flowers, be tender and gentle, speak uplifting words to her, and do what pleases her. For a man to experience sexual pleasure, he has to see something desirable. It's important for both spouses to understand that.
Because sexual desires are hard to restrain from, Satan will come and tempt you if you don't fulfill those desires with your spouse. It says in verse 5, "Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [to sin] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire."
When men don't have regular sex with their wives, they are tempted by Satan and are more likely to engage in immoral thoughts or even actions. They may desire to have sex with someone else. They may go to pornography or other things to fulfill their sexual desires. That is sinful. Although the wife is not guilty for a man doing those things, this Scripture shows that lack of sex within a marriage will influence that. The only time sex should be refrained from is by mutual consent for a time, so that both spouses can devote themselves to prayer.
On average, it is healthy to have sex with your spouse at least twice a week, except during the week of period and cleansing. It often doesn't take more than an hour or so. But it's needed for your marriage to be healthy. Once a couple gets married, they become one flesh, meaning they don't have exclusive control over their own bodies anymore. Both the husband and the wife have their rights, as we read in verse 4. So it's important for married couples to understand the importance of regular sexual intimacy for their relationships to be happy and healthy. It's for married couples to share and celebrate their love for one another.