ADULTERY: HOW TO PREVENT IT
Date: June 11
Category: Marriage and Relationships
"For [adultery] is a heinous and chief crime, an iniquity [to demand action by] the judges and punishment. For [uncontrolled passion] is a fire which consumes to Abaddon (to destruction, ruin, and the place of final torment): [that fire once lighted would rage until all is consumed] and would burn to the root all my [life's] increase."
These verses in the book of Job are about adultery. Job calls it a heinous and chief crime, which is worthy of punishment. Really, adultery does lead to punishment because it usually leads to divorce, particularly if the person who is involved in an adulteress relationship chooses to stay in adultery. Divorce comes to both Christian and non-Christian families alike. The rate of divorce in Christian marriages is no different than that of non-Christian marriages. The Bible says here that that is a crime.
In verse 12, Job says that when you have uncontrolled passion and commit adultery, it's like a fire that consumes to Abaddon, which is actually Hell, the place of final torment. That fire will rage and rage until it consumes everything and burns the root of all your increase. In other words, that uncontrolled passion that causes you to commit adultery will eventually destroy everything that you have built. If you think about it, that's what divorce does. Divorce destroys everything that you've built.
I've met people, who have been married for many, many years and have worked hard over the years to build a home and create prosperity for themselves. But everything that they have built was destroyed because of divorce. That shows that money is not as important in marriage than having a good relationship with your spouse.
In a marriage, you need to pay attention to one another and know the basic needs of the other person. Then you should do all that you can to meet those needs in order to please that person. One of the basic needs that a wife has is affection. This includes hugs, kisses, expressions of love, and encouraging words. A husband should always speak nicely to his wife, both publicly and privately. That way, she'll know that he'll always love her and be loyal to her.
One of the greatest needs of a husband is admiration and appreciation. A man needs to be respected and honored by his wife. He finds that in the words that his wife speaks about him and he finds that in the way his wife responds to him physically. A married couple should be intimate with each other on a regular basis in order to strengthen that relationship.
When you, as a married couple, take care of each other by meeting each other's needs, then you won't want to look for anything else. When your needs are met, you won't need to find satisfaction anywhere else. But when your needs aren't being met, your hunger begins to drive you to other places. That is sin and it's destructive.
In order to avoid that, a husband has to love his wife daily, meaning from the beginning of the day to the end of the day. A wife has to respect her husband daily and love him in the way he accepts love.
As it says in this verse, adultery will lead you to Abaddon. It will lead you to ruin and destroy everything that you have built. It will also bring you torment as well. Many people who are divorced are tormented in their hearts. If they choose to get married a second time, they often bring baggage from their failed marriage into their second marriage.
That makes the marriage even harder. The divorce rate is even higher in second marriages, where one or both spouses have already been divorced. So the probability of that second marriage failing is even greater. Destruction, ruin, and punishment are all results of adultery.
But if you want to prevent that from happening, you have to do what it takes to have a successful marriage before ruin comes, before the temptation to commit adultery comes. You have to speak positively over your spouse and your marriage, and then you have to plant good seeds. Planting good seeds is doing whatever it takes to meet the needs of the other person, whether it is emotionally, physically, or spiritually. When we do that, there is stability in the relationship.
Marriage relationships should bring energy, not drain it. All other relationships are energy draining, but marriages should be energy producing. That only happens when we do what it takes to make it successful. Again, successful marriages don't happen by themselves. It takes work. That's why we have to be proactive and work towards pleasing the other person.
Then there will be no danger of adultery. Adultery destroys marriages; it destroys families, and it leads to destruction. But if you take these precautions and do what it takes to please your spouse, then you are protecting your marriage from the risk of adultery. Let us be people who are loyal to our spouses.